I used to go to cigarettes or guys to fix me when I was broken. And of course it never helped. I was still broken inside. I was still depressed and empty and felt like I had no meaning in my life. And to be honest, I really didn’t. I was surviving; not living. I pushed people down, walked all over them and then left them with their faces in the dirt. Not literally but I might as well have. I thought treating other people horribly would mean I was better. I helped no one and only thought of helping myself. But what I didn’t understand was that I was hurting myself. I didn’t do these things because I was a mean person. I did these things because I wanted to be someone “great”. I was hurt and because I didn’t deal with it the way I should have. I only hurt myself even more and others around me. I thought it gave me power. I thought it made me feel happy and important. I did to people what mean girls and boys did to me when I was a little girl. All because I wasn’t happy.

Now instead of going to God when I was broken, I went to the things that would break me more. Think of it like this. Think of a machine with different systems and buttons and connections. There is no way any person could understand that machine completely unless they took it apart or created it themselves. The machine in our lives is us. Your body. Now there is no way any person can completely understand you. How you work. What makes you angry, sad or happy. What gets on your nerves. The exact reasons you are the way you are. The only one who does completely know and understand every single part of your mind and body is God. He is the creator after all. He made you and loves you. He knows how to fix you.

So why is it that we all go to things that we KNOW will hurt us, instead of going to the only one who can help us. God is the only one who can fix you when you are broken. He made you exactly the way you are. He, the inventor, can pick up all the pieces and put them back together. He can even make you better than you were before. Why would you not want to give yourself up to someone who will only make you better and happier?

I finally realized this and I can honestly say I am SO much happier. I quit smoking and cursing and hurting people. I gave my life up to God and he took all my depression and molded it into happiness. He took all the brokenness of my life and put the pieces back together. If you are out there, and looking for an answer to happiness, the answer is God.